You Don't Need to Fit In...

This is my first post in about a year and I'm kicking it off with a new 30 day challenge. Each morning at 5AM, I'm going to be sharing some truth I think you guys need to hear but I'm going to make them short and sweet so they only take a few minutes to read while still having a clear message. The topics I choose might give you a shove in the right direction, cut out the lies in your head, encourage you to be present or motivate you to go after your dream life. Alright now that that's out of the way, lets jump into todays topic...

You don't need to be like the other girls. I've wasted way too much time trying to fit in and caring what others think of me. Letting them dictate how I talk, dress and act as well as what I thought my worth was. I gave it my all, trying to lose the weight so they'd think I was pretty, studying hard so they didn't think I was dumb, saving my money so they didn't think I was frivolous. I thought love was conditional, that my parents would only love me if they had the perfectly put together, thin kid. And that people would only want to be my friend if I had achieved something great and had something to show for myself. But to what end?

Those people who I'd fought so hard to earn their love, talked about me behind my back and left. Leaving me with nothing. I had no worth without their approval, right? That's what I thought. I told no one how anxious and depressed I was which only dug me farther into the hole. I turned to the social figures online, the ones who had filters and photoshop all over them. The ones who only posted photos taken from the best angles and only when things were happy and upbeat. I thought that was the ideal life I had to strive for. So I ate less, worked out more than ever, got ahead in school and saved every penny I earned. I lost myself in the to do's, the goals and the number to hit on the scale. No longer knowing who I was, shoving all emotions down, I became a robot running through the motions, not enjoying any of it, becoming more and more depressed. Searching for the approval of others but never getting it.

But then, just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I opened up to my sister, then my dad. And they were there for me, affirming me that they would love me no matter what I looked like and no matter what I failed or succeeded in. After many breakdowns and so many tears shed, I started to climb out of the pit. It wasn't an easy process, but I started to see my worth was more than the things I could accomplish, that being me was enough. I started to process my emotions as they came instead of bottling them up and I did that through journaling and talking to my family about what I was going through. My bubbly, spunky personality started to come to the surface again and I found that I truly didn't want to be apart of all those groups of girls who look and act the same, who laugh at inappropriate jokes and make fun of others. What kind of life are they leading? Yes, they look like they have real friends but those people are all just playing a part and wearing a mask. They put on a show when they're out and about but when they get home, they deal with the same thoughts as you, never being good enough, searching for someone, anyone who really cares enough to look through their facade and see how much they're hurting.

When you start to look at people, past their masks and recognize the beauty and pain they hide underneath, you will be so glad you aren't just another face in the crowd, adding to the fake friendships of the world. People don't need another replica of the "normal" teenage girl. They need you, you are uniquely created for a purpose here on earth, you have the ability to change the world around you and affect so many peoples lives. Maybe even save some people from their battle with suicidal thoughts or rescue those people who are stuck in pits of depression and anxiety or even just those people dealing with intense loneliness. You never will know the impact you can have unless you have the courage to stop caring what other people think of you. Stop caring who's going to judge you or talk about you behind your back. Don't let those people stop you from living to your fullest potential, from helping those who desperately need a friend, from living the life God has called you to live. You don't need to fit it, you actually need to not fit in. You need to embrace who you are, to be your beautiful unique self and to be the change this world so deeply needs. This generation desperately needs you, so stop trying to fit in with the crowd. Be the leader, even if that means being the outsider for a while if that is what it takes to dam up the flow of people blindly following the meaningless way of life where we put on the masks day after day and pretend we're okay when we're really not. Let's take off our masks and be real with each other, open up and create true real deep connections and friendships. This world is far too short to waste trying to fit in when each and every one of us were born to stand out.

Thanks for taking the time to read what I have to say, I hope you have the courage to take at least a small step in the right direction today.

-Lydia Johnson