Actions speak louder than words

Day 4 of 30 days of truth babyyy! I’m writing this on the first day of march but you won’t see it for a few days. Every time it’s the beginning of the month, I get in this self evaluating kind of mood and I think about what I need to be working on. So today’s topic is something I’ve struggled with for a long time and it’s something I really need to get the gears started on and really work to overcome.

I hope this will bring some light into your life and help you understand what we really should all be focusing on. Alrighty, let’s get into it…

This is something I had to learn the hard way because boy do I like to talk. I don’t want people to think I am not working on anything and don’t know what I’m doing. For the longest time, I’d always talk about my plans to lose weight, start a business, take a course but when it came time to back up my words with actions, I’d get scared and revert back to what was easy. When I didn’t stick to my word or my plans, I felt embarrassed to talk to people because I thought they’d be like “Welp, Lydia changed her plans again no shock there.” And although I so badly hate disappointing people, it’s even worse when they have no expectations for you to do anything with your life.

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Those people most likely didn’t think quite so badly of me but my mind blew things way out of proportion and I was so paranoid and cared too much about what everybody thought of me. Growing up is very hard and when you put all this excessive unneeded pressure on yourself it can feel very overwhelming. For the longest time I didn’t know what I wanted to do though but everybody always asked me over and over what my plans for life were. Since I graduated two years early I think they always expected me to continue doing things ahead of schedule and do something great by the time I turned 18 which was the age everyone else finally graduated high school. But this pressure paralyzed me and I lost my passion for everything and didn’t want to pursue any of it fearing I’d simply fail. Failing has been a big fear of mine for a long time and it took me quite a long time to stop tying my worth to my accomplishments but through loads of talks with my dad I finally started to believe what I somehow knew all along was the truth.

Something I had to do to get out of this loop was start working on things without talking about them to people so I’d actually enjoy them and not worry about others seeing me fail. It brought the joy back and I started to pursue the things I was passionate about again. I would just do my thing and if someone found out that was okay but they’d find out because my actions led them there not by me telling them. Words these days mean next to nothing. We don’t think things through before the words leave our lips and we don’t always mean what we say. One huge example of that is you saying “I love you”. It means nothing without the actions to back it up. Love is an action, a choice you have to make everyday. It is absolutely not just a feeling, and I think in todays day and age marriages are failing left and right because people rely on that feeling and when things get tough and that feeling fades they pack up and leave. Love means sticking with someone and working things out no matter how you feel or what problems you have to face.

I could honestly do a whole episode on how feelings are so overrated and people need to stop obsessing over them so much. But for today I’ll stick with my topic of focusing on your actions. Whether it be your health goals or career plans, let your actions speak for themselves and stop searching for approval from others. You’ll never find your worth from them, the only place you’ll find it is in God and trusting that he will work all things out for good. And living only to please him and no one else. By making him your priority, and having your actions reflect your choice to be a disciple of christ, you will find peace and contentment. You will be able to know your worth through him and stop feeling the need to please everybody else and simply let your actions speak for themselves. This is something I am still trying everyday to remember and my journey is not over yet but I’m slowly getting there. I hope this helped in some way, love you guys and don’t forget to have an attitude of gratitude!

-Lydia Johnson